Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Spring Please Stay Awhile

Spring and fall are by far my favorite seasons. Not too harsh, just right. This weekend I got my bike out and prepared it for a ride. Today I will go on my first bike ride of the season. I'm so excited. I was just getting into biking when I got pregnant with Zoe. Then it got so hot that I couldn't stand the heat. I've been waiting to bike for months! Mary, my riding partner, can't ride with me today but I'm looking forward to a day soon when we can ride together. Today though, it's just me--and lots of fresh air. Today is the first day that I will leave Zoe at daycare all day. She has done great with the transition. That's all for today!

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Well, Today is the Day

My little baby boy is all of a sudden big now. I think that it happened when Zoe was born. When I came home from the hospital and was giving Q a bath, I noticed how big his body had gotten. His legs were long and he felt much heavier. I'd never been away from him for that long. I mean, I saw him everyday while Z and I were in the hospital, sometimes he even came to visit twice daily...but he was just bigger. Maybe in comparison to tiny Zoe? I don't know. He was just big. He was suddenly a boy and not a toddler and it happened way before I was ready. And today, another milestone...underwear! I couldn't even get a picture because he was so excited, running around everywhere! I sent several changes of clothes to daycare today, pretty sure that he will need them. Makes me sad that he is big now. His newest thing is telling our dogs, Jack and Bella, to go to time out. "Time out Jack, Time out Bella, GO" he yells! Makes me laugh every time. He calls John by his name sometimes rather than daddy. That really makes me laugh. In other milestone related news, tomorrow is my last day on maternity leave. Yet another milestone. STOP with the milestones. I want time to stop, it just goes too fast. Except when I'm running. I've joined a running clinic. Time goes real slow when I'm running! My goal is a 5K in May. I'll let you know how the training goes! Happy day!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Geez, I really really promise!

I've been so bad about updating this blog. Poor Zoe won't have much to document her time in the womb or first few months. But, really, I want to do better. Being on maternity leave and having no one to talk to except a baby that can't talk back has me left with lots to say! Life is very busy around here. First, no one told me that double the kids does NOT equal double the work. I'm not too good at math, but I do know that the rules of mathematics do not apply to kiddos. So, since no one warned me I want to warn others--double the kiddos has at least TRIPLED the work! Don't get me wrong...there is nothing I'd rather work harder at than raising my kids, it's just that I was a bit surprised at the workload.

Zoe is the sweetest baby girl. I mean, how can a baby girl not be sweet? She has the biggest smile and loves to cuddle. And then with all the frilly dresses, giant bows, colorful pinks and lilacs in her clothes...a recipe for cuteness. She is so tiny. Just now weighing in at 9lbs 6oz. she is still wearing some newborn clothes. Her favorite thing is to be swaddled very tightly by the master (her daddy) and put in her swing. She sleeps there. Sleep--we are still working on that.

I forgot how hard the lack of sleep was. In fact, I forgot almost everything from that time with Q because I was so sleep deprived! We are improving but that is difficult. The "sleep when she sleeps" is just not possible. I mean, I have a family to feed, clothe...when would I do the laundry or make dinner if I slept when she slept? It sounds like a good piece of advice, but I've not really found it to be all that practical. In fact, all that is practical has really gone out the window at this point. We are in survival mode. And, it is working so far. We'll stick to what works for now.

Promise promise promise myself that I will do better on this post. I've got lots to say:)

Friday, November 26, 2010

Itty Bitty Pesky Gallbladder

So the troubles with my gallbladder began in February. I didn't know what it was in February, why I was having intense pain and vomiting episodes, but it hurt so badly. An intense kind of pain that I'd never experienced before. Months later we found out it was my gallbladder, in fact, 2 days after learning I was pregnant. The GI doctor said that since I was pregnant, there was nothing that we could do until after the pregnancy. And since medications were controlling the pain and the attacks I was agreeable to this plan.

I had trouble on and off during first and second trimesters, but mostly when I would forget to take my medicines. Ouch. Every time I would swear to myself that I was never going to forget taking that medicine again, but I forgot again many times. My OB doctor said that there are a few surgeons that would remove gallbladders when pregnant and she would refer me to one, if that was what I wanted. She said the best window for removal while pregnant would be the second trimester. I decided that since everything was pretty much under control to just wait it out. That was until I hit the first day of the third trimester, which was last week.

I've had attacks daily, if not multiple times a day now. I called and got the referral to the surgeon and will see him on Monday. I spoke with his nurse on the phone on Wednesday and she was able to look at my gallbladder ultrasound that I'd done several months ago on the computer system at the hospital. She said the report then showed "numerous" stones and that waiting any longer could actually be more of a risk than removal while pregnant.

She was great at explaining everything to me. She said that the first trimester the anesthesia is too much for the developing baby. The third trimester poses a risk for preterm labor. The anesthesia is fine for the baby at this point but in order to reach the gallbladder they have to fill the abdomen full with air and because of the growing uterus, there is just not much room for anything else. This pressure from the air can squeeze the uterus and cause contractions. So I would have to be admitted to the hospital for a few days in order to be on a fetal monitor and watch the baby. And, the second trimester is just perfect time for gallbladder harvesting apparently (the perfect timing during pregnancy that is).

The risk of waiting is that one of those gallstones could get loose and cause ALL kinds of other serious complications, one being pancreatitis, which can be fatal. So, I feel stuck. I don't want to risk pre-term labor, or more complications for myself. I would not forgive myself if the baby was born and there were problems. However, I can't endure the pain anymore. So, if you think of me, please say a prayer that the surgeon is wise and cautious and everything (whatever decision we make, operate or not) goes well.

Oh, and just for the records: gallbladder pain is THE worse pain I've ever experienced in my entire life! EVER, over anything...

Baby Girl

Life is so full and so busy! I wish that I'd documented more along the way with this baby, like I did with Quincy. This pregnancy has been different than the first. They say that every pregnancy is different and I agree.

Gone is the nausea from the hormones, but ever present is the nausea from the gallbladder. With Quincy, I was sick for the first 13 weeks, ALL 13 of them! The second trimester was easier but I didn't have the "best I've ever felt" feelings that some describe. Towards the end of the second trimester I remember getting this horrible pain in my hips that made it painful to walk. Sleeping became a chore. Back pain was not as bad as I had anticipated, but bad nonetheless. And the waiting had me a nervous wreck. Is that a contraction? What was that weird pain? Should I go to the hospital? More of the same in the third trimester.

This pregnancy I've been tired. May have something to do with chasing around a toddler, I don't know? Very few episodes of morning sickness/nausea in the first trimester. But the second trimester has brought all the physical pains back, plus a few. The hips hurt, the back hurts, the abdomen is all squished, the ankles are swelling, and lightheaded. Also, my hip joints/upper leg (whatever that is called, where they all attach) is about to kill me. It hurts to move any part of my lower body at any time. Feels like my legs are attached to my body by a small string and every time I move them, that string might break. Putting on pants, moving from seated to standing position or vice-versa, rolling over in bed...all of this is absolutely excruciating!

And add to that, gallbladder pain. That will be another post. Now that I've complained about the difficulties of pregnancy, I'd like to say, there is nothing in the world like it. To feel a life, a small bundle of "person" growing inside of your womb, the gentle nudges and kicks, it is amazing. And miraculous. And such a blessing. And the aches and pains will all be a distant memory when she arrives.

I can't wait to meet her. She is already so much more active in the womb than Q, I think that she will be a force to be reckoned with. I wonder what her little personality will turn into? Will she be laid back, easy-going, compliant? Or free-spirited, energetic, and march to the beat of her own drum? Everyone is curious about her hair/eye color. Needless to say little blond haired blue eyed little boy was surprising. Will she be the same? Or will she have dark eyes/hair like her mom and dad? Will she be born early? Five pounds or nine pounds? Oh I can't wait! I love her so much already.

Monday, September 13, 2010

It's A

girl or boy? You tell me. Tomorrow I have my big gender ultrasound.

Labor Day

Some images from our Labor Free Day! Once Quincy picked this "apple" we could not get him to put it down!

Monday, September 6, 2010

Baby Telford #2

The news has long been out, but I've neglected the blog. In February, there will be another baby Telford! I was a little worried after having an ovary and cyst removed in January that getting pregnant might be difficult. With only one ovary, I thought my chances would be cut in half. My doctor said that they wouldn't, but I have to admit I was still skeptical. A few months after the surgery we started to try and get pregnant...and a few months later we were pregnant!

Even though I'd been through pregnancy before, I still worried (and still do) endlessly. Every pain or ache makes me question "is everything ok"? So far everything has worked out just fine and I'm about 17-18 weeks along. My next appointment will tell us if we are having a girl or a boy.

This pregnancy has proved the "every pregnancy is different" statement. I wasn't nauseated and puking for the first 13 weeks. I had "moments", but they were just moments thank goodness! Physically it has been more difficult on my body. I ache and am very sore. Getting comfortable is already difficult. No heartburn though (yet)! I've been extremely tired, but this could also be contributed to chasing a very active toddler.

One of the most difficult complications that I've had has been my gallbladder. If you've never had gallbladder issues, count yourself lucky! That little bitty thing can be extremely painful. I think I'd rather give birth any day over having a gallbladder attack. OUCH! I found out 2 days after a positive pregnancy test that I had gallstones. Thankfully I have meds that pretty much control the attacks. If it gets worse my OB says we can remove it during the 2nd trimester without much risk. I didn't know it was common for subsequent pregnancies for gallbladder issues to form. Wow.

Thanks everyone for your support and encouragement thus far during the pregnancy! Love to all!

Monday, August 30, 2010

I Want to Remember

That you love "melmo" (Elmo) right now.
You called a green pea a ball.
Mummies (gummies) can just about bribe you to do anything!
You love to say "llella" but refuse to say Jack.
Strawberries are your favorite fruit.
You only like Mac-n-cheese freshly cooked, no leftovers!
You are a huge helper around the house and will put things in their place.
You can be a bit of a perfectionist.
In your bed you look like such a big boy.
You are so happy.
I love that you have a gentle spirit and easy-going attitude.
I am so happy to watch you grow but sad to see my little boy grow up! In one week you will be 2 years old! Our lives have been blessed beyond measure and you are a huge part of that! We love you so much Quincy!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Heart Attack

No one had a heart attack. But, I almost did. Yesterday. But everyone is okay and I didn't have "tha big one". I picked up Q yesterday at daycare and began loading him up in the car. He loves to play with my keys and I wait until the absolute last second to take them from him. Know where this is going? So, I got him all buckled in, got the keys, and tossed them in the drivers seat. I shut the door and started around the car. That's when I heard it. beep beep. The sound of my car doors locking...and by themselves!!! I thought, "maybe it was another car" but when I checked, nope, it was mine. Panic. What do I do? I could bust the window, don't really have the funds to replace the window. Who cares? MY BABY IS IN THERE! I could call the police and they could bust in the window. I realized quickly that my phone was in the car as well. I borrowed another parents phone, called John, said, "it's an emergency, I locked Q in the car, it's hot, come NOW". I kept saying that I'd locked him in. Although I didn't, I felt like I had.

We have an older car. No On Star. An actual safety feature of the car is that if you walk away without locking it, it will lock itself. Not really something that I consider a safety feature. A safety feature is that the car won't allow itself to lock. Who cares about a purse? I had a baby in the car.

So John was on his way, flashers on and all. But, it was 5 o'clock. Traffic. Even had he gotten there in 30 seconds, it would have been WAY TOO LONG! I had so many plans in my head. The minute he started crying, window was coming out, and with my bare hands. If he even looked too hot, again, window out with my bare hands. I stood outside the car and played peek-a-boo, sang songs, did the disappearing stair name it, I did it to keep my baby smiling. And that he did, smile, the entire time until John arrived. I don't know how long it was...time was stopped in my mind anyway. The only two things that kept me sane were the fact that Q was enjoying the entertainment (he was smiling) and the thought that I could break out the window at any moment if I needed to. I knew that he was okay, hot maybe, but okay and that if that changed at any second then I could get to him within a few seconds. Don't doubt my strength. I could have lifted the car with one hand yesterday, alone. And held it there.

I know that I will have many more mintues like this as a mom: helpless. It was awful. All is well now:)

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

The River

Let me just make a disclaimer before writing this post: you may be offended.

Last weekend we went to the river. Not the lake, but the Ouachita River. Except for the life-sized mosquitos and the horseflies that had needles for stingers, we had a great time.

There was so much for Q to get into that we all stayed very busy. Mike actually lives on a riverboat. He made it. It is very very cool. Once you are inside, you have no idea that you are on a boat until another boat goes by and you realize that you are rocking back and forth. Or when you look out of the window to a most beautiful view. Other than that, oh, I forgot to mention the skinky sulfer smelling well water, you really don't know you are on a boat. There is a flat screen tv, cable, several bedrooms, bath, kitchen complete with oven and full size refrigerator. We mostly stayed outside where Q like to walk up and down the ramp to the boat. Someone was always holding onto him AND had had a lifejacket on any time we were outside. Also outside my mom had bought him a swimming pool (which also doubled as a bathtub). And she got him his first ever fishing pole. I think that she hoped to help him use it, but he had a different thing in mind. He just went around swinging it back and forth. I was hoping to not be around when Q came by. The pole HURT!

Hope you enjoy the pictures.

What's That???

Well, if you are wondering what we've been up to, see the title of the post! Q has mastered the words, "what's that?"! And he says them over and over and over again!!! Even after we tell him what that is, he will ask again. We are having so much fun watching him discover and learn new things. Here are a few new tasks he enjoys doing: putting ANYTHING in the trashcan, putting ANYTHING in the laundry basket (and then taking it out so he can put it in again), pushing his dumptruck around, helping with chores (loading the dishwasher or dryer, mopping or sweeping), gently petting Jack and Bella, tearing up paper (we gladly let him tear up bills), dancing his heart out, trying to run and jump, eating almost anything, going outside to water the flowers, playing in the water. Okay, I won't go on and on...basically Q enjoys life, and I'm learning from him to stop, smell the roses (literally he does this, not sure who taught him), and live in the moment.

We are all busy, with work mainly. I think that a full moon has been out for about 2 months now. At least it feels that way. I've been in the ER doing psych screens like crazy, no pun intended! Work doesn't ususally feel like work, which is great. My body feels it though. The more I work, the more I hurt. I'm thinking of making an appointment with a pain management doctor this week. I've contemplated this many times but always hesitate because I feel like this is my last line of treatment, and if this doesn't work, then what? That really scares me. But the past few weeks have been really hard on my back and I've decided to go ahead and bite the bullet. I feel like I've tried everything and had no relief, so hopefully this will work. We'll see.

When we are not working, or answering the question, "what's that", we are exercising. John is still running, but not as much. I've taken up bike riding. I got a new bike that helps me to sit up straight and doesn't put any strain on my back. I really like it. More than the bike, I enjoy the scenery that it helps me to see! I love Arkansas. It is absolutely beautiful! My friend Mary let me borrow her bike trailer to put Q in. That was an experience. Glad we borrowed before we bought. First, that thing is heavy, I'm guessing 25lbs. And Q is heavy, another 25-30lbs. So pulling 60 lbs of dead weight is killer. So killer that the scenery is no longer beautiful! I think if Q was smaller, it would be great fun. But for now, he wants to ride his own bike, not be trailed behind one. Thank you though Mary!

Our computer has died, so I can't upload pictures unless I go to John's office. I will try and do that for the next post. Sorry for not updating as much, life is so busy, but so good~! Love to all, Molly

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up!

I've fallen off the blogging bandwagon, that is. I can't get up because we no longer have a computer at home. Our laptop died. But, Quincy has been doing the most precious things lately, and I wanted to write about them before I forget!

Talking up a storm but not very many interpretable words! And when he gets going, he will raise his voice just because he can. His favorite words are "uh oh" anytime anything happens that he doesn't think should happen. This includes dropping things on the floor, and me pulling out in front of someone, getting honked at, I hear a little voice in the backseat, "uh oh". "MO!" That is no and mine, combined. Genius. Because usually when he is telling someone NO, it is because, that is mine! "Lordy, Lordy, Lordy". Seriously. Do not know where he got this one from. But not complaining because he is no longer saying "shit". Don't know where he got that one from either! "Bawwwl". Interpretation: ball in a very southern drawl. Yellow. Blue. Can say both of these colors clear as a bell. "Doowg" and "ruff".

He loves to give hugs (if he can slow down long enough) and now is giving kisses on the mouth. So sweet. He will grab your head and pull it towards his and give you a big, wet, slobbery kiss on the lips. He does not like to have his diaper changed on his changing table anymore. He is much more agreeable if I change his diaper on the floor. Still loves bath time and eating. Favorite food, hands down, is gummy bears. He has no fear when it comes to slides. We go to a different playground just about every week and he like to climb and slide. Over and over and over again. He enjoys watching Disney's "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse", Special Agent Oso, Madasgar Penguins, Handy Manny...

He is also really starting to show that he is a boy. He loves to ram his cars into things and make noises to go along with that. He likes to yell. Hates getting his faced wiped off, especially his nose. Lately he has been walking around with his hands in his pockets and that cracks me up. He loves to dance. ANY music will get him moving to the beat. And, sweetest thing, he holds our hands when we pray at dinner.

Quincy is the best thing about my life. The biggest blessing. Everyday he makes me laugh and stop to enjoy the moment, cherish life, and be ever thankful.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Not My Kid

Last night John and I went to "Parenting Bootcamp" at our church. We signed up for it quite awhile ago but we reconfirmed that we needed to be there two times yesterday.

First, I pick Q up from daycare. The daycare worker states that Q has been really aggressive for about one week. He is hitting, kicking, biting! She said that she has never seen this kind of behavior from him and was concerned. You could have knocked me over with a feather. I was shocked! It was mostly over toys. Someone had the toy that he wanted, and bam, he did something about it. We have seen NOTHING like this at home, however, John and I don't typically play with toys. We've seen minimal hitting. So, all the way home I was in disbelief.

Second, snack time for Q proved to be a tantrum. Like a terrible two tantrum. Major folks. We are talking had we let him cry it out, could have lasted til he lost his voice. Lucky for him, we had to leave for church. But he did cry a good 20 minutes or so. He was strapped into his booster seat, but was flinging his body everywhere.

Did someone switch out our kid? Help. Suggestions welcome.

Friday, February 5, 2010

I'm A Fan!

I am an aspiring photographer...until I see a real professionals work and I sort of remember that I'm a social worker, not a photographer. One of my favorites, though we've never met or had our pics taken, is Danielle Davis. I have many friends that have priceless pictures, paintings done by her. Check her out.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Pneumonia Here, Pneumonia There, Pneumonia Everywhere

I'm thinking that Quincy might want to skip the holiday season all together next year. He got a concussion over Thanksgiving and pneumonia over Christmas. I'm actually thinking that I may want to skip the holidays next year, Q probably, not so much!

The week before Christmas the daycare called on Tuesday and said that Q had a fever. I picked him up and called my boss. He has to be fever free for 24 hours before returning to daycare. So I stayed home with him on Wednesday. We went to the doctor just to make sure that it wasn't serious (last year he had RSV). The doc (not our regular doc) sent us home, Q was fine. No ear infections, clear lungs, no fever, you get the picture. So, he was fever free for 24 hours. Back to daycare he went on Thursday. Daycare called again. Q had a fever of 102, didn't eat lunch, and was not playing with the other kids. This time when I get him I can really tell that he does not feel well. He is burning up. It was too late in the day for us to be seen by the doctor and I made an appointment for the next day, Friday. John woke me up about 5:30am saying that Q now had a fever of 104. Panic mode.

Tylenol, tepid bath. Repeat. Fever went down to about 102. We went in to the doc about 10am. We didn't leave until 1:00pm. The doctor heard a crackle in his lungs. She ordered blood work and chest x-rays, RSV and flu tests. He has pneumonia. His white blood cell count is 28,000. Normal is 4,000-11,000. Infections are considered serious at 20,000 and severe at 24,000. I called John and asked him to come to meet us.

In the meantime they checked his oxygen saturation level. I think that most people are at 100%. I'm pretty sure in the 80's is something to worry about. The first reading came up 83%. I panicked again. Turns out, the machine malfunctioned. His level was 97%. He got a HUGE shot of antibiotics, an inhaler, and a Saturday morning clinic appointment. John's parents were already scheduled to come in that day and spend the weekend to celebrate Christmas with us. We were so glad they did. It really helped to have two rational brains to help us make decisions.

We were told that if his fever spiked again or breathing became fast or labored to go directly to the ER, otherwise come back to the clinic at 8am. When we got home, Q let me put him on the couch and he watched a video. John's parents arrived about 3:00pm. When they came in, Q woke up and from then until about 10:30pm I just wasn't sure that everything was going to turn out okay. His fever was 103 and he was incredibly lethargic. He had a zombie look, glazed eyes. He had to be held, at all times, by someone. So during this time it was great that we had two extra sets of hands for holding and ears for listening and hearts to help us bear the burden. The night wore on and on. His breathing would speed up then slow down, over and over again. Do we go to the ER or wait? What to do? All evening long we thoughts rushed through our heads.

About 10pm we decided to go to bed. We have never let Q sleep in the bed with us, but thought that we needed to be close to listen to his breathing. So, we got in the bed, Q in the middle, and he sat up, facing us, and gave us the "Q smile" that melts hearts. It was like a break in the storm, kind of reassurance that he was going to be okay. We all slept hard that night. Early the next morning John & I take Q back to the clinic. X-rays revealed that his pneumonia was worse. We got another huge shot of antibiotics and told to go to the ER if anything worsened. I was thinking, "uh, didn't you just say that his lungs look worse?" I guess it just sort of has to run its course? I dunno.

It took about one month before Q returned to his normal eating habits, sleeping habits, and all-around pretty happy personality. It really scared us. I cannot imagine what it is like to have a really sick child, a child that might not get well. Thankful for the blessing of a mostly healthy child!

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Thanksgiving Holiday and Happenings

I was especially excited for Thanksgiving this year. John's family had rented a cabin in Broken Bow, OK. There were actually three cabins nested together and his aunts rented the others. So almost ALL of John's family stayed the entire holiday in cabins just a few feet from each other. I am sick that I didn't get a picture of the outside of the cabins. I really didn't get any good ones of the inside. Here are a few that show the inside of ours. And when I say cabin, don't think rustic! These had hot tubs on the porch, king sized beds with super fluffy down comforters, idea of good "camping"! They were absolutely beautiful!

We arrived Wednesday night and had a spread at Aunt Gay's cabin, and let the stomach stretching begin! There were about 20 people already there, it was hoppin! We were exhausted and Quincy was overwhelmed by the people and the volume! We didn't stay too long and decided that we would catch up with everyone the next day at Thanksgiving Lunch.

The next morning proved to be one of the hardest of my life thus far. After staying up late and getting up early (my life since Q) I was ready for a nap before the day really got started. At noon everyone was to meet at a restaurant in Broken Bow for lunch. Quincy was being given plenty of attention by the family so I went to rest.

A few minutes later I heard Q cry. I figured he had fallen, as he often does. I heard a hurt cry but it stopped soon. A few minutes later I heard him cry again. And again. I went to see what was going on and Q was resting on John's shoulder. Apparently Q was in his booster seat at the table and pushed with his feet off of the table and tipped his chair back onto the floor. His head hit the back of the chair that his booster was strapped to.

He didn't smile at me and looked zoned out. It was close to his nap time and John decided to lay him down. Seconds later John emerges from our room with Q and lots of vomit on the both of them. At that point it was like a big red light went off with everyone. After this point everything moved very quickly. Jason called out the phone number to the local hospital as I dialed to ask them what to do. They of course said to bring him in. He then started to projectile vomit. Now was there not only a red light but a very loud buzzer that heightened the awareness with all of us that something was very wrong. Within seconds John had put Q in the car seat, I jumped into the back with him and John instructed Jason to come with us to the hospital since he was the one with directions.

I know that we were driving very fast. When I caught my breath I asked how far it was to the hospital. Someone said about twenty minutes. Twenty minutes??? A few minutes later I heard twenty-eight miles to Idabel. That was where the hospital was. Quincy looked like he was getting sleepy. I talked and sang to him. His eyes continued to grow heavy and I took him out of his car seat to try and keep him awake. It worked for only a few minutes. Before he closed his eyes I kept looking at his pupils which looked to be equal, round, reactive to light. That was really all that I knew to look for. Once he went to sleep is sort of when I lost it with God.

I have had this fear since we've come home from the hospital...the fear that something will happen to John or Quincy. A very real fear that breaks my heart if I even let my mind begin to go there. I remind myself that neither John or Quincy are "mine" and that God has blessed me with them, and maybe only for today. Every time I look at that precious precious precious little boy I just want to build a wall around him, shelter and protect him. I then feel a nudge in my heart and mind from God that I can't do that. So many days (just about every time I think about how much I love him...which is multiple times in a day) I have to tell myself, "they are not mine". So, on the way to the hospital, as my mind couldn't help but think the worst, I lost it with God. I begged and pleaded for Q to wake up. He was unconscious and I was helpless.

We made it to the hospital quickly, rushed him in, and the wonderful staff took care of him. Sometimes you think in a rural town, Thanksgiving day (at noon of course) the care might not be top notch. I disagree--it may have been to our benefit that there was no one there in the ER except a man and his dog. Or, simply that God was taking care of us and we were attended to quickly and expertly.

As the nurse took him from my arms I followed. John had the diaper bag and insurance card (yes in the frantic rush to the hospital I remembered to grab the insurance card--I work at a hospital and know that you can practically be dead and they will ask for your insurance card), so he stayed behind. We were taken to a trauma room and Q was laid on the bed. It was bright and loud. There were about 5 staff members in there, everyone had a limb and his eyes opened. He was scared and started to cry. I think that everyone breathed a HUGE sigh of relief when those blue eyes opened. And I was glad to see him scream.

Everything after that is a blur and my mind began to slow down. The doctor said that Q's pupils were slower to react to light than he wanted and ordered a CT. He did not much like this. I didn't either. I had to get on top of him to hold him still. It scared him to death. Thank goodness it only lasted a few minutes. It was awkward and scary. The results were good. The doctor said that in head injury with loss of consciousness this was the best outcome that we could hope for. Go home, wake him every 2 hours for the next 24. Really, that is all that I remember. Talk about being thankful. What a day. So I'll end on a happy note with pictures of my beautiful family...

Monday, November 23, 2009

Give Thanks

My life is so full. Not busy full. Good full. Happy full. Rich full. And I'm so thankful to feel full.

Since Quincy was born everyday just seems better. It has made me think about so many things in life. One thing that I roll over and over in my mind is how thankful I am for my family. When John and I fell in love with one another we talked about how we had not experienced love in such a way before. We didn't know that our hearts had the ability to love that deeply, fully, and completely. Then we had Quincy. A whole new level. Our love for each other continues to grow, but now we have this perfect little piece of us combined into a blond haired, blue eyed little boy that will just make your heart flip flop in your chest!

Every single night when I go check on Quincy to make sure that his little feet are still under his blanket and that he has a pacy nearby and that he is breathing (yes, still check) I touch his face or pat his back and say, "thank you God". Over and over. Every single night. I am amazed that God would entrust this little perfect boy to us. And in the same thought of "thank you God" I am reminded that God didn't actually give Quincy to me. He is God's child not mine. Oh but how much richer our lives have become in just 14 months of sharing the responsibilities of raising him.

I am thankful for so many things in my life. Right now I just want to focus on my little family. God has given me more than I could have ever dreamed, and I am so thankful to Him for such rich and wonderous blessings!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Birthday Boy--Quincy turns One

We opened presents and Quincy had a blast! He got so many fun things. His favorite was his Razorback game jersey from his momma! We we calling the HOGS here. Note the look on his face! He loves the Hogs ALMOST as much as he loves his momma!

Two very dear friends, Krysta and Heather. It was so special to me that Krysta and her family, minus one, came to the party. Krysta had a baby one week before this picture was taken. She had just been out of the hospital 3 days and she came to Quincy's party. Quincy, Nicholas, and William Paul will be lifelong friends if their parents have anything to do with it!!!

We had Quincy's first birthday party a few days before his actual birthday. It was a wonderful, memorable day. I waver between perfection carefree chaos! I had planned how I wanted certain aspects of his party, others knew were out of my control and just let it be. It turned out to be a really special day because most of our closest friends and family were able to attend. We had it at the church. That was a great place--plenty of room for the kids to run wild. We had the gym to use, the playroom, and the youth cafe for eating.

Quincy was in a great mood despite his lack of sleep the night before (more on that later). He played hard and did a great job on the cupcake! He ate it ALL, squished it between his fingers like we had rehearsed it or something!

This picture below is from church. Every month they celebrate birthday's of kids from that month. Quincy had cake two days in a row and was literally climbing the walls! Our church children's ministry leader has made so many events in Q's life memorable. The birthday pyarty was one of them. Thank you Susan, you are truly a blessing from God. You do a wonderful job!